Working with predominately women, very few of you will not understand what I mean when I write about having a “Fat Day.” Now, many men will look at me as if I’ve lost my mind – but to be honest I rarely use that term with my male clients. But, in case you are an individual that is reading this and is clueless about what I mean, I’ll give you a quick run down.
A “fat day” just means that you wake up, perhaps you get on the scale and the number that stares back at you isn’t what you want it to be. Some times you don’t even get on the scale, you try to put on your favorite pair of jeans and it feels as if the dryer has plotted to shrink your skinny jeans 4 sizes, or the pizza you ate last night has suddenly exploded and made it impossible to fit into anything! HOW could you have gained what feels like 10 pounds OVERNIGHT! At that point getting on the scale can be a daunting experience itself. The bottom line…this 10 minute event of fighting with your jeans or favorite outfit, that fit fine l last week, suddenly is going to destroy your entire day. Every time you catch a look at yourself in the mirror- all you see is “fat thighs” “muffin tops” and a tummy that makes you look and feel like you are 4 months pregnant. Your entire day is ruined. You feel fat all day…you hate yourself and are convinced that everyone is staring wondering HOW you gained SO MUCH WEIGHT over night! The mirror is your enemy. If you have a partner in your life and while pouring your morning coffee they sneak up and gently put their arms around your waist to give you a morning kiss and you practically jump out of your skin. You are convinced all they feel is fat wafting out of your spanx (if you had the courage to try to put your spanx on!). God forbid that they wanted to have a little “morning delight”- because every time they touch your body, your are convinced the only thing they are thinking about is what happened to your body.
Well, the bottom line is you didn’t gain 10 pounds over night. You may even logically know that that is physically impossible. But what is going on? How can one tight outfit have so much power over your day, your job, your psyche? Even feeling that you can’t possibly have sex because your partner is as disgusted with your body as you are. And in reality, most men I have worked with say they are clueless about this phenomenon. They are so thrilled to be having sex, the fact that your tummy is swollen in your mind isn’t something they are even aware of!
So, what does this mean? You need to immediately google local eating disorder clinics? Dig up that article in your recent women’s magazine on Body Dysmorphic Disorder? Well to be honest, some women, more than you may be aware of do have eating disorders. But for a few minutes, lets not discuss the “big guns.” Because what I’m talking about is more about how weight or how you look physically can have such a huge effect on how you feel about yourself.
Many of you may have seen a youtube video that was posted by the Dove company. They hired a colleague of me that has spent a lot of her life studying eating disorders and body image in women. Dr Ann Kierney-Cooke is a wonderful psychologist that I met when I was living and in graduate school in Cincinnati, Ohio. She taught me almost everything I know about working with eating disorders. And I would even hazard a guess that any time you pick up almost any women’s magazine if they have a questionnaire about body image she is behind the research.
Recently she did an experiment with Dove (the soap folks) who had developed a “beauty patch” RB-X to help women who had problems with self-esteem. They were asked to wear the patch for 10 days and keep a daily journal about how they felt about themselves. This patch was worn on the body and contained several ingredients that helped women improve their self-esteem. Dr Kierney – Cooke met with about 10 women, gave them the patch and interviewed them while they used the patch about how they felt each day. What did it do to their self-esteem? How did they feel about their bodies? Did they feel like everyone around them was aware of their imperfections ( a few extra pounds, a zit that arrived last night, etc).
If you managed to miss the video (it was also on the Today Show along with Dr Kierney-Cooke and several of the women in the study, I’m going to add the today show video). Please take a few minutes and watch it, then leave me a comment about what you think about the patch? What does this say about how women feel about their bodies? Do you have “fat days” ? Did you identify with some of the things the women said on the video about avoiding mirrors?
UPDATE: Unfortunately the video is no longer available! Please check out my old friend Dr Kierney-Cooke. She is a brilliant Psychologist specializing in Eating Disorders and Body Image!
Gentle Hugs,
Dr Karen